So I fell in love... not the "love" most people experience in most relationships but the love love that everyone hopes to find. Although I did not say it first and did not say it right after he did, I still felt it all the same. As time passes I began to notice something was not right. Long story short, the entire time he was in love with another girl. Although for a while he chose me, and they went to not talking, somewhere along the line she came back and he "chose" her. I put chose in quotations because he did not 100% "chose" her. His actions and words towards me were way stronger than a simple "yeah we are "together" but it has to be a secret" (long story as to why). I started getting texts that said he missed me, my kiss, my touch, everything. Then it started that every time we hung out we started getting "closer" kissing and holding hands...the usual boyfriend/girlfriend acts. Things were good, but then every time we would be cuddling on the couch, he would say please dont tell her. promise me you won't. and then he would say, I dont wanna lose this but I dont wanna lose her either. And it always just broke my heart a little more, but t was one of those situations where I did not want to lose him completely so if I couldn't be with him be with him atleast we were friends.
About a week ago I had a party with my friends...and he came. He once again acted like my boyfriend infront of everyone. And to my face he was telling me how much he missed me and how much he was gunna miss me when he leaves and that I would have to come visit him and yadda yadda yadda, I was on cloud 9. I tried so hard not to believe him, and I told him "your just saying that." and he insisted he wasnt. I went to see him monday night and things just werent the same. We then went a few days without talking (him not answering my texts and all that) we finally talked last night. After doing the usual how are you? whats new? he dropped the bomb. " I FINALLY met her!" and I was like what? who? and he said HER. I still didnt get it so he clarified. My heart sank. I tried to sound excited but I know he knows me better than that and read right through it. He then proceeded to tell me how it went and how nervous he was and blah blah blah. I almost couldn't take it but I stayed strong, as he told me how amazing it went. I hung up and went back to work...thinking about it the entire time. She doesnt know we talk, she doesnt know we hang out, she doesnt know we kiss, she doesnt know anything. He's pretty much cheating on her and lying to her...but thats his game. We are going to see a concert tomorrow night..... the only reason I am still going is because I am making it my last and final goodbye.
After talking with a friend last night I think I have made the decision to go have fun tomorrow night, then tell her everything, and then completely cut all times with him... as hard as that is going to be...
He has no idea but... Here Comes Goodbye.......
"Here comes goodbye, here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear Im gonna cry
Here comes the pain, Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes goodbye"- Rascal Flatts
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